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60条最新出炉的超搞笑个性签名

日期2016/3/3 11:37:35录入FF63

1. 是金子总要发光的但当满地都是金子的时候我自己也不知道自己是哪颗了

2. 我认识的人越?#21877;?#23601;越?#19981;?#21160;物

3. 我们生活在阴?#36947;P?#20381;然有仰望星空的权利

4. 如果我不能死在她的心里那么就让她死在我的手里

5. 把你的铁石心肠含在我的樱桃小口中

6. 尘归尘土归土挥手告别二百五

7. 时间对了地点对了感情对了却发现人物不对

8. 看在愚蠢的分上就不?#30340;?#20160;么了

9. 我真想亲口管你爷爷叫声爹

10. 世界有一半在嘲笑另一半其实全世界都是傻瓜

11. 从这个世界走到那个世界需要几代人的攀爬挣扎

12. 只要目光?#25163;保?#19981;怕眼眶涨热

13. 流氓是一种气质老流氓是一种信仰

14. 耶稣和释迦?#26448;?#30340;最大区别是什么他俩头发一个大卷一个小卷

15. 没有100分的另一半只有50分的两个人!

16. 人生重要的不是所站的位置而是所朝的方向

17. 问手机最常用的功能是什么?#30475;w?#30475;时间问手机最令人心跳的功能是什么?#30475;w?#38663;动

18. 干柴遇?#19968;w?#37027;叫明骚湿柴遇小火苗那才是闷骚

19. 一个成功的男人就是能够挣到比妻子花的钱更多的钱一个成功的女人就是能够找到这样一个男人

20. 如果你只是?#21364;?#21457;生的事情只会是你变老了

21. 运气就是机会碰巧撞到了你的努力

22. 下辈子投胎做个女人嫁个像我这样的男人

23. 热恋时情侣们常感叹上辈子积了什么德结婚后夫妻们常怀疑上辈子造了什么孽真乃冰火两重天

24. 当初有多能为谁去死现在就有多想谁去死

25. 现在我对你唯一的感觉就是没有感觉

26. 一个真正自由的社会是“没有任何英雄任何一个人都可以堂堂正正的做一个废物”

27. 世界骗子太?#21877;?#26126;显傻子不?#25381;֙?/p>

28. 哎呀骗子牛肉方便面里面根本就?#25381;信?#32905;

29. 老娘一向视帅哥与金钱如粪土而他们也一直是这样看我

30. 新闻联播的牛13之处在于就算你一直在换台?#26448;?#23436;整地看完一条新闻

31. 有心的无力有力的无钱有钱的无情有情的无缘?#24615;?#30340;无分有分的正闹?#29228;?#23130;

32. 我?#19981;?#38391;骚的人在别人面前闷在我面前骚

33. 眼?#31267;?#22320;看着?#32032;?#21457;生不八一八岂不是太二了

34. 帅哥之间的勾肩搭?#24120;?#26377;的重点在于肩和?#24120;?#26377;的重点在于勾和搭

35. 现实的社会毁了我一个做好人的机会

36. 去厕所小解一下顺便洗洗手

37. 骂人时最痛苦不过于别人用你的话来回骂你分量也会猛增许多

38. 我哭?#29228;?#21040;这个世界上就打算哭着回去!

39. 方便面的确很方便但煮它还是要用电

40. 吃饭?#21916;?#34631;上班灭老鼠晚上撵蟑螂睡觉拍蚊子除四害人人?#24615;?/p>

41. 还价就像谈恋爱最高境界是胆大心细脸皮厚最低要求是该出手?#26412;?#20986;手

42. 天苍苍野茫茫 ?#38391;?#38829;子抽你娘

43. 我不同意你的观点但我誓死捍卫不让你说话的权利

44. 人生自古谁无死早死晚死都得死

45. 每个人都应该热爱动物因为它们很好吃

46. 你向?#33258;?#20511;件衣裳向小鸟借双翅膀然后飞一般地跑到我面前说“我们鸟人就是这个模样”

47. 没什么事不要找我有事更不用找我

48. 舌头比牙齿更长寿软件比硬件更加长久

49. 能够说出的委屈便不算委屈能够抢走的爱人便不算爱人

50. 男人和老婆的关系再差和岳母的关系也是好的女人和老公的关系再好和婆婆的关系也是差的

51. 忍无可忍就重新再忍

52. 每个人出生时都是原创的但可悲的是很多人渐渐活成了盗版

53. 最明?#31354;?#32966;的恭维就是把“悍妇撒泼”说成是“贵妃醉酒”

54. 求而不?#33579;?#33293;而不能得而不惜这是人最大的悲哀

55. 地球是运动的一个人不会永远处在倒霉的位置

56. 男人的使命神圣而坚定一是保卫祖国二是听自己女人的话

57. 当我们相信自己对这个世界已经相当重要的时候其实这个世界才刚刚准备原谅我们的?#23383;?/p>

58. 不怕讨债的是英雄就怕欠债的是真穷

59. 你走你的过街天?#29275;?#25105;过我的地下通道

60. 关于明天的事我们后天就知道了

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