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你还在装逼啊,累不累啊你,抽根烟吧。

日期:2016/3/3 11:37:39录入:FF63

我现在也不知道,拉钩为什么要上吊。

我就这样,谁也改不了,没人让你适应我,我也没义务迎合你。

胆小鬼往往自称心细,吝啬鬼往往自称节省。

吃了中国奶粉,腰也不酸了,腿也不痛了,连心脏也不跳了耶!

世上穷人那么多了,为什么还要算我一个。

数学老师带我们在题海中遨游,结果最后他上岸了,我们都淹死了。

自古红颜多薄命,我情?#24515;?#36135;,肯定长命百岁。

有不有看到自己的伤口,一脸茫然,不清楚是怎么被伤的时候。

在街上走着,突然一个女的让我当他男朋友。

悟空破口大骂:“唐僧你个死变态,竟然把彩铃设成紧箍咒!”

别逼我!不然我爱上你,你就悲剧了!

瞧我这记性,老是说你缺根筋,都忘了你只有一根筋了。

别把你自己当人物,你在哥眼里顶多算个动物。

人不犯我,我不犯人,人若犯我,退让三分,人再犯我,斩草除根。

作业啊,我有暑假了。不要来缠着我。

女:你TM是不是男人?男:撇开两腿:来试试就知道了。

美妞不是奥利奥,请哥哥不要泡一泡。

我要给未来对象的妈一个差评,发货太慢,到现在还没收到人儿。

所谓放假,家里遭嫌,出门没钱,每天特?#23567;?/p>

不要等我哭了,才说多么心疼我。不要等我走了,才说你多么爱我。

当两个人遇见,接下来的不是?#36866;?#23601;是事?#30465;?/p>

饭,我所欲也;瘦,亦我所欲也。二者不可兼?#33579;?#25105;嘞个去也。

受不在妖,耽美则名?#36824;?#19981;在骄,强悍则?#23567;?/p>

远看一座庙,近看咱?#24863;#?#19977;百多尼?#33579;?#19968;万多老道。

你还在装逼啊,累不累啊你,抽根烟吧。

其实每天晚上,最后我都不知道自己是怎么睡着的。

床,请自重,放开我!我可是有课的人!

曾经你是多么牛逼的在我心里呆过,现在是多傻逼的滚出去了?

当医生宣布你死亡的那刻,全世界的人都笑了。

我一定要在你?#25509;?#26080;奇的人生里,做一个闪闪发光的神经病。

我怎么敢碰你呢,我怕我买洗手液买穷自己。

如果太阳不出来了,我就不去学校了;如果出来了,我?#22270;?#32493;睡觉!

淡定,不表示不怕,反而更怕,只是没表现发来。

我去炸学校,老师不知道,你拉线我就跑,轰隆一声学校没掉了。

只要锄头抡的?#33579;?#27809;有挖不动的死墙角。

如果我的考试成绩能像?#32771;?#28072;得那么快,那么这个世界该有多可爱。

难免埋怨时间的手,把相爱写成相爱过。

挣钱是一种能力,花钱是一种技术,我能力有限,技术却很高。

?#31181;詠行?#30340;只是我的躯壳,叫不醒?#20102;?#30340;心。

对象不是你想搞,想搞就能搞,让我明白让我看清你就是?#24403;取?/p>

打?#19968;?#21834;,打?#19968;?#25171;坏了该怎么办?

你离开,我说过会一直祝福你?#22351;?#25105;一定会诅咒和你在一起的那头。

你脸上有个屎壳郎吧,你硬?#30340;?#26159;美人痣。

如果剪掉头发可以剪掉回忆,那我剃成光头是不是就可以失忆。

你烦我,你烦着我,你再烦我,你就娶我!

夜深人静的时候,?#39029;?#24120;?#39318;約海?#24403;初决定来地球发展,到底是对是错?

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