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您现在的位置: QQ个性门户 >> QQ空间日志 >> 空间日志综合

笑话集_最新笑话大全 QQ日志

日期:2017/5/27 23:15:52录入:FF63

  

笑话集_最新笑话大全 QQ日志

 

  泼水节

  泼水节上,大家彼此泼水祝福,突然一人骂道:妈的,谁泼我?旁人劝道:泼你是祝福你.

  骂人者道:少来这套,谁拿开水泼我来着?

  等车

  今天早上上班赶公共汽车,到站台的时候,汽车已经启动.于是我边追边喊:"师傅,等等我,师傅等等我呀!……"

  这时一乘客从车窗探出头来冲我说了一句:"悟空,你就别追了"

  扎针

  某甲到医院做健康检查,护士拿了针要替他抽血,某甲看著闪闪发亮的的针头忍不住问:“会不会?#31383;?我怕痛!”护士说:“放心好了,我做了二十几年的护士……”某甲说:“太好了,我放心了!”然后护士一针扎下,只听到某甲杀猪般的一声?#21307;?护士才缓缓接道:“没有一次不痛的。”

  弄巧成拙

  酒吧里,乔治独自在喝着啤酒。他突然觉得自己要去洗手间,他怕离开后有人偷?#20154;?#30340;啤酒,便在桌上写了一张纸条:“我在杯中吐了口水。”他回来后,发现纸上又加了一句:“我也吐了一口。”……

  声音太大

  诸葛亮是个精通奇门八术的人,其中有一项特长就是口技。?#27492;?#36825;一日诸葛亮正与刘备在?#25163;?#35758;事,诸葛亮突然想放屁,又怕被刘备听见,不好意思。他灵机一动,道:“主公,为?#35828;?#33410;一下气氛,我学啄木鸟叫给你听怎么样?”刘?#20613;?#28857;头。诸葛亮模仿啄木鸟叫了两声,趁机把屁给放了。然后问道:“怎么样主公?我学的象不象?”刘备道:“你再学一次吧,刚才你放屁的声音太大,我没见。”

  我在马路边,看到一分钱,刚要弯腰捡,原来是口痰,谁吐这么圆?

  一次军事演?#20998;?一?#38376;?#24377;偏离很远。派去查看的士兵发现,炮弹落在农田里,田中站着一农民,衣衫破碎满面漆黑,双眼含泪的说:偷棵白菜,?#20613;?#30528;?#38376;?#36720;吗?

  某晚,一裸男叫了一辆出租车,女司机目不转睛盯着?#27492;?裸男大怒,吼道:你他妈没见过裸男呀!女司机也大怒:我看你他妈从哪儿掏钱!

  一老?#38171;?#20002;车,?#24444;?#25226;新买的一辆车放在楼下?#24444;?#19978;了三把锁并夹了一张纸:让你?#23601;?第二天车没丢,并且多了两把锁和一张纸,上写着:让你?#37202;?

  传送门目的地:平了名的爱你 却只剩下回忆_带文字伤感的图片 唯美 感兴趣的童鞋可以点击下面的传送门,精彩不容错过~我是神奇的传送门,请点击我~

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